And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
