I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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