Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
