I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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