Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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