What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
