It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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