Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
