your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize