i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
