My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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