As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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