'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
