even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
