If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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