I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
