Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My first STD was from a foam party
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
