I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
