Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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