Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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