Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
