I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
