Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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