just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
