Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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