he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
