I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
