that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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