Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize