uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
