you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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