I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize