he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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