It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You work out of a Hotel?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
