I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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