Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
