After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
