Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize