I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need a beard to bite.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
