I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
