Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
