I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
