sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
