porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize