this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
