so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
