Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
