you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
