Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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