Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
