ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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