remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
