I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
