He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize