Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and she was petting her beer can
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
