I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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