just tell him i said nine months
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
