chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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