ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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