but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
