Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
