Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't think brook has ever known best
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
