Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize