So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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