i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
