well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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