3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize